Antwan Talks Recovery, Reinvention, and Chicago Nights –

Chicago rapper and producer Antwan spoke to us about the slow-burn path that led him to start releasing music in 2018, the years of hesitation before that, and the emotional weight behind his latest album Cirque du Ghoul / Antwan’s Circus. Built during a period of recovery, the project pulls from dark nights, personal reckonings, and the chaos of the city around him. In the interview, he digs into how the circus theme emerged, the influence of Chicago’s winters and nightlife, and the support network that helped get the record off the ground. There’s also talk of future collabs, switching up his sound, and the wrestling references he keeps tucked into his bars. It’s a conversation full of openness, humour, and the kind of realism that underpins every track he puts out.

Welcome to A&R Factory, antwan, it’s great to have you here and to shine a light on the next chapters you’re building. You’ve been around music since your early teens, but you didn’t start releasing until 2018. What finally pushed you from being a kid soaking it all in to someone ready to put their own voice out there?

Well the lack of money and studio equipment was one thing is what I always said, but honestly that shit sounds so stupid looking back lmfao; I probably could’ve just recorded on my phone or some and just dropped tracks like that, but I wasn’t really thinking; by 2018 I feel like I had to just put that “Antwan” name more out there music wise- like I kept saying “I make music” or “I’m a rapper” since I had started this journey at like 14, but I didn’t have nothing to back that statement up, so it was just time to stop yappin and start putting in work. To be honest, when I look back at it, that shit was soooo easy, I don’t know why I took so long on dropping anything- I think it was just the procrastination and also that feeling of just being unsure with myself, but I’m glad how everything played out after the first couple of releases. I credit my brother Bando for the quote “shut up and drop already”. That’s grade A motivation right there lmaoo.

Your recent album holds a lot of emotional weight because it was created while you were in Recovery. How did that period shape the sound, the writing, or even the way you approached the studio?

Yea….. that recovery/sobriety journey was hell. It just felt like a weird time I’ll be honest with you…… it felt like I had to find myself again, not just as a person, but as an artist as well; basically kinda just start from scratch, and I hated that, but it had to be done and I think it played off pretty well. The love for the music kinda died a bit, so I had to find that spark again too. I did so much scrapping and a lot of re-writing of songs until I finally got that perfect idea and sound, which ended up being the whole kinda dark circus vibe; like this wasn’t supposed to be an album, it was supposed to be 2 separate EP’s, but once I had started writing about circus clowns and this quote on quote circus, the album just started getting stacked together like some legos lmaoo. I knew I wanted to do something different since the last EP was just some like lovey dovey shit, I had to switch it up big time, had to show people the real me, and I think I did that. The recovery journey helped a lot- you can most definitely hear it in the music, there’s tracks where you can hear it, “Drugs Make The Circus Go Round / R.I.P A 2” you can hear it, it’s nothing but pure raw emotion, like if you listen closely to the end you can hear me kinda like choke up a bit, again it’s just nothing but pure emotion throughout the whole album. The writing part has always stood the same, it was always some real life experiences, I think just this time around was different because I had opened up hella more than I normally do, and really had dived into almost like my day in the life, and really dived into my head.

You’ve said the album means a lot to you, which really comes through. When listeners press play, what’s the one thing you hope they feel or understand about you that they might miss otherwise?

When the listeners press play I just want them to feel that everything that I write and record is all coming from real life events and what not- I want them to feel all that truthfulness, that realness of me hitting rockbottom, the realness of struggling with addiction and dealing with mental stuff as well- like this shit wasn’t a game, this shit actually happened, you know, people saw this first hand, and there’s a few who can attest to that. I just want them to hear what it was really like, and how it ended up, and not to just see me as this drunk druggie, cuz there’s some that see me that way still, which isn’t the case; we all go through something and deal with it how we can, I just chose the easy way to deal with everything, and that was alcohol and drugs, but shit happens man, and I’m not tryna make excuses either, I’m just saying how it is. If somebody is feeling the same way I felt, you know I’m always open to talk or just be that ear to hear em out. I also want to let the listeners know that it’s okay to ask for help, it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to let go of all the bottled up anger and sadness or whatever it may be, just don’t fight that battle alone man. At the end of the day it’s all gonna work out, I hate saying cheesy shit like that, but it’s the truth lmaoo.

You’re two months deep into promoting this project. What’s been the most surprising or unexpectedly fun part of pushing it out into the world?

Man, I think it’s seeing the streams and plays overseas…just a few days ago I had saw there was some plays out in Germany, the UK, Argentina, Amsterdam, Greece, and a few more countries; that’s real sick, I love that; that’s my main goal, to get more song attention overseas- another fun part with promoting not just the album but previously released tracks as well, is seeing what to do next promotion wise, always kinda gotta switch it up; like both my producers ohei8ht & entersilence just give me ideas on how to promote, along with all my brothers, they just got ideas for days, so that’s just real fun, being able to work with all these great minds.

I was surprised when I was reached out to by a music group a couple weeks back, we’re still currently working together right now, it’s just cool to be working with people outside of my circle as well, cuz that just means more doors are being opened; it’s rewarding seeing the music be recognized, it means a lot to me.

Chicago has its own unique musical character. How much has the city fed into the tone of your work or the stories you’re trying to tell?

Chicago just feeds into my work plenty, whether that be living out here or working in the city, it just feeds into the music so much, it just gives ideas left and right. The winters out here I think definitely help shape my sound in a way, just being in the cold and when it snows, when it gets dark at like 4:30, etc etc, the vibe and atmosphere is just different and it just works for the music and story telling.

Almost every idea I get comes from being around the city a lot, for example, the album is called “Cirque du Ghoul / Antwan’s Circus”, in the album I mention talks of this “circus” and what I’m actually talking about is the city…. I won’t go into too much in detail about it, but just working in downtown Chicago and then going out what was almost everyday 24/7, you see some shit, like on “MANIAC / TOUR LIFE 2” I say “creatures in the night, maniacs all around”….. you see and meet some characters, some good, some bad, and some where you kinda just tell yourself “goddamn man”…  it’s just one big ass circus in a way, so that’s why I called it “Antwan’s Circus”, cuz the city was just one big ass show and I felt like I was the ringmaster as well as a performer in it. As I mentioned in the beginning, the city feeds plenty into my work, and I always mention it in one way or another, whether that be talking about LSD (LakeShore Drive), or just name dropping the city.

What are you currently cooking up for your next releases? Any sounds, themes, or ideas that have been pulling you forward lately?

As of right now I’m not working on anything, as I retired from making music….nah I’m just playing lmfaooo- I’m working on a collab track with my close producer and uncle ohei8ht and with an artist by the name of Yvk, the track is really fucking dope, the sound is different from what I normally do, I had to tap in with the west coast sound for this track, but it’s still Antwan authentic I can assure you that.

Besides that collab track, I’m still in the process of thinking on what to do next- I kinda wanna do some house music/dance typa tracks because that’s all i’ve been bumpin right now; I have a track out called “Club Space (Interlude)” and it’s almost like a dance type of track, so I wanna do a a full on house/dance project, even if it’s just like a lil EP, I think that’ll be pretty raw. It’ll be cool to switch up the sound, but it’s all up in the air right now, I wanna tap in with some producers who can help achieve that goal, or fuck it me and the boys are gonna have to get to work on that, but again, it’s all up in the air right now, it’s on my list.

You mentioned wanting people to really know who you are as an artist. What’s something most listeners wouldn’t guess about you unless you spelled it out?

Damn, that’s a good question….I think that when it comes to making a song/project it takes me about like 3 months to get it done properly, something like that; it takes a while because I just want everything to be perfect, so I do HELLLAAAA rewriting until I’m comfortable with the craft- I think some folks think it takes like a week or a few days, nah it takes me a while, but that’s something I’m tryna work on. They don’t know I’m my biggest critic, and again that goes back to wanting everything done perfectly, so that’s why I usually take months on tracks.

Another thing they wouldn’t know is before rapping, I wanted to be a wrestler growing up; that’s why I always try to have wrestler mentions in my songs lmaooo, or even when I post on Instagram, I post wrestling pics as well; and before rapping I wanted to start my own band because I was a big Hollywood Undead fan and that sound was just raw to me, so that was something I wanted to do; I do take inspo from them tho, you might hear it, you might not.

As you look ahead at your upcoming projects, what personal or creative milestones are you hoping to hit next, whether that’s a sound shift, a collab, or something you’ve not spoken about yet?

Honestly I really don’t know to be honest, the way I work is a little unorthodox, I just go with the flow, I try not to really think too hard with what I work on too much, cuz if I go with the flow, everything just comes together real easy, whereas if I’m really putting thought into it, it just takes forever for it all to come together and see the light of day.

Personal milestones, I just want to have as much music out as possible and stop procrastinating so much when it comes to the music, I wanna stop getting too deep into my head when it comes to making and dropping stuff, because I feel that just holds me back a lot. I just want to continue putting my voice out there, I’m not saying im the voice of the voiceless, but if there’s someone out there that can resinate with what im saying, then that’s fucking cool and I wanna be able to continue to be that voice so that person don’t feel alone.

I definitely wanna collaborate more with artist’s, whether that be working more with my brother Vizzy and just dropping single tracks or we drop a EP or lil mixtape, or work more with people outside the GhoulBoyz collective- I’m open for whatever.

Soundwise, I most def wanna continue to just grow and do more than what I normally have out, but as of right now I just wanna continue to do what I’m doing and just make it perfect.

Also down the line is to get this band idea off the ground with bando and taymoney, it’s been in the works, that’s all I can really say on that.

Shoutout GhoulBoyz, love y’all man, love this whole team.

–

Discover antwan_nawtna’s sound on Spotify and connect with him on Instagram and TikTok. 

Interview by Amelia Vandergast